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BELIEFS, THOUGHTS & BEHAVIOUR
WE ALL get persuaded on occasion, perhaps to buy something that we either do or don't need - the 'right' kind of advertising obviously does pay. At least we know where to get hold of something should the inspiration or need arise. Ever wonder where the inspiration or 'need' comes from? Does it necessarily benefit you, apart from that buzz and the hole in your pocket.
RESEARCH shows how people in groups tend to be rather more willing to take risks. That doesn't mean that everyone takes more risks, or even feels like it. It is simply that there is a way of showing a reasonable statistical difference between one state of affairs (making a decision on one's own), and facing the same decision with a group of others people.
YOU MIGHT be surprised how much that appears in our newspapers is simply a press release or write-up about someone's research, which may or may not be applicable to normal daily life. It could, by a small stretch of the imagination, be designed to influence you to a way of thinking.
DID YOU know that behaviour follows thought? Whose thoughts - what you read, what someone whom you trust tells you, what everyone else in the workplace thinks, what your partner thinks? This may sound like empty rhetoric and that is for you to decide. But would you want constant party political broadcasts, rousing marches, football crowds?
DO YOU want sometimes to flop in front of the tv and let it all happen around you? It lifts you out of your everyday life, the daily struggle to work when you don't feel like it, the chores, getting the car fixed. It's like a holiday, and we all need a breather. You're happy to let the show go on and that might just be when your defences are down (hence all those ads?).
FINE - because you know there's advertising. But what if you're uneasy about something, on the tv/ off the tv, what your mate says, what your boss says? Why do you think there is emphasis today on being assertive, standing up for yourself, getting advice because you don't fit a particular niche? Indeed it could be good for you. It could also be good for the people who are paid to promote ideas via books, seminars, group meetings to foster a feeling of support, and so on.
EVERYONE has to earn a living? Everyone can do their own thing? It's free and it's helpful? Could there be a hidden agenda, getting your mates involved, giving a donation, getting you to buy books, encouraging you to feel a need to seek help or comfort - at financial or human cost? We are all human: you may feel OK with yourself or at least you get by. You can build on that by yourself or with friends you trust.
BE AWARE that some people may not be what they seem. Some may simply want you to believe what they believe, or they say what you might want to hear. Something to watch out for would be a double-standard (which can be deliberate or not) where the stated objective may be perhaps an ideal to follow, but the intent may be raising money or having a form of control over others.
AS A GUIDE, if you are in a relationship or a group and you feel like questioning something or changing your mind but you meet opposition, perhaps it is time to examine things further. There is a natural amount of give-and-take in many situations. We all have our various likes and dislikes, our comfort zones and our discomforts. |
CON-TRICKS, Scams, Deception
BBC TV have been running 'The Real Hustle' in 2009, information at www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b006m8mf
If you can watch videos you can see the Top 30 voted Hustles at www.bbc.co.uk/realhustle/besthustles/
Books you might find useful are:
'Conned: Scams, Frauds & Swindles' by James Morton & Hilary Bateson
'The Con Artist Handbook, the Secrets of Hustles & Scams' by Joel Levy
'The Art of the Steal - How to Protect Yourself & your Business' by Frank W Abagnale
'The Art of Deception' by Kevin D Mitnick & William L Simon
'More Scams from the Great Beyond' by Peter Huston
'The Sting - True Stories of the World's greatest Conmen' by Nigel Blundell
'The Tourist Trap - when Holiday turns to Nightmare' by Patrick Blackden
'The Book of Tells' by Peter Collett
'The Call of the Weird - Travels in American Subcultures' by Louis Theroux
'The Dilbert Principle' by Scott Adams
'A Mind of its Own - How your Brain Distorts & Deceives' by Cordelia Fine
'The Psychology of Self-Deception' by Daniel Goleman
'Tricks of the Mind' by Derren Brown
'Mark Wilson's Complete Course in Magic'
'Decoding Advertisements - Ideology & Meaning in Advertising' by Judith Williamson
'Emotional Design - Why we love (or hate) everyday things' by Donald A Norman
'Stack & Sway - the new Science of Jury Consulting' by Neil J Kressel & Dorit F Kressel
'Techniques of Persuasion' by J.A.C. Brown
'We Know What You Want - How they change your Mind' by Martin Howard
'The Want Makers' by Eric Clark
'The Sociopath Next Door' by Martha Stout
'Without Conscience - the Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Among us' by Robert D Hare
'Erased - Missing Women, Murdered Wives' by Marilee Strong
Some people may genuinely believe in what they are telling you (top of Page)
Logical Fallacies - errors of reasoning or argument -
use a Search Engine or www.logicalfallacies.info/ which categorises fallacies of relevance, ambiguity, or presumption
Social Engineering for strategies from the computer environment, and used more generally,
to gain information or to manipulate - often via 'social compliance'
Advertising, Public Relations, Salesmanship, Anthropology, Stage Magic
Psychology of false confessions and see Human Rights - Part 3
Ponerology - wickedness or evil
Psychohistory
Nidotherapy - changing someone's environment rather than trying to change them |
DISSING has become a part of life, whether that means discounting someone, disrespecting, discrediting,
disregarding, dismissing; or being rude or unsupportive.
Scapegoating page and Videos
Scapegoating links at: http://www.birchmore.org/html/scapegoat_links.html
One-upmanship: The art of maintaining a psychological advantage
Ostracism can cause a real Pain! Is it really worth it? Check out some links HERE
Domestic Violence, Bullying, Coercive Relationships
Stalking, Harassment & Bullying including in the workplace
Anger Management, Stress & Health, Coping with Trauma & Post Trauma Stress
Factors in Violence books and video for those
who
are
sometimes violent
Safety Tips and Booklist |
CULTS & GROUPS
GROUPS in general, including family relationships or work places, even interaction with an individual, can have a very strong effect, and it can be difficult to see things for what they are, and to get help and understanding.
Management or other techniques may include the concept of 'winning hearts & minds': To get people to change how they behave, you first change how they think about something, perhaps by gaining their trust or dependence. Coercive behaviour does not have to be obtrusive or jarring. It can be subtle or desirable, or at worst seem harmless - which makes it harder to see or get others to see.
Click HERE If you are in a situation of domestic violence or a coercive relationship, or are facing issues with bullying or harassment.
CULT-RELATED Links are provided as a possible starting point
Please bear in mind that people working in this field may have different opinions and approaches, so just take on board what is useful:
http://www.freedomofmind.com Steven Hassan's website, author of 'Combatting Cult Mind Control: Guide to Protection, Rescue, and Recovery from Destructive Cults" (1988) and 'Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves' (2000).
http://www.rickross.com Primary signs that a group might be a 'cult' and how to get out of one.
Book List on page http://www.rickross.com/reference/books/reading_list.html
International Cultic Studies Association site with much useful information on how cults operate and their effects: http://www.icsahome.com
FECRIS European site with worldwide links: http://www.fecris.org
'Cults and Families' by Doni Whitsett & Stephen A Kent: overview of cult-related issues: families in cults, parental roles, impact cult leaders have on families, destruction of family intimacy, child abuse, impact on cognitive, psychological and moral development, health issues. Download from http://www.arts.ualberta.ca/~skent/cults.html
Cult Dynamics article at http://www.skeptictank.org/hs/cultdyn.htm
Cults, Sects & Heresies free downloadable course http://eomtc.com/cults/ (donations appreciated)
Cults & Sects Bibliography booklist http://www.robibrad.demon.co.uk/bibcult.htm
Social Identity Theory provides useful insights into groups and cult-like behaviours |
BOOKS & ARTICLES
'Cults, Secret Sects & Radical Religions' by Robert Schroeder
'Forensic Aspects of Dissociative Identity Disorder' Ed. Adah Sachs & Graeme Galton
Groups, Cults, Indoctrination, Exiting click HERE
'Misunderstanding Cults' by Benjamin Zablocki & Thomas Robbins
'Pointed Observations' by Kevin R D Shepherd
'Programmed to Kill' by David McGowan
'Recovery from Cults' by Michael D Longone
'Secret Societies & Psychological Warfare' by Michael A Hoffman II
'Sinister Forces Book Three: The Manson Secret' by Peter Levenda
'Snapping' by Flo Conway & Jim Siegelman
'Speak of the Devil: Tales of satanic abuse in contemporary England' by J. S. La Fontaine
'Spiritual Warfare: The Politics of the Christian Right' by Sara Diamond
'The Complex' by John Duignan
'The Cult Files' by Chris Mikul
'The Dark Gods' by Anthony Roberts & Geoff Gilbertson
'The Occult Tradition' by David S Katz
'The Secret World of Cults' by Jean Ritchie
'Today's Destructive Cults & Movements' by Rev. Lawrence J Gesy
Video 'Safety OnLine & Off - Young & Older'
Video 'Christmas - Season with a Pinch of Salt' |
Video 'Let's Reduce Abuse'
Video 'Missing from Home/ Runaways' |
Ostracism can cause a real pain!
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Is it really worth it? |
Whether it gets called ostracism, rejection, dissing or whatever, the effects of silent treatment can be hard to take.
Click for 'Why rejection hurts: a common neural alarm system for physical and social pain' by Naomi Eisenberger and Matthew Lieberman http://www.neuro-psa.org.uk/download/rejection.pdf
Ostracism: The Cruel Power of Silence, an All in the Mind radio interview http://www.abc.net.au/rn/science/mind/stories/s1066040.htm
Kipling Williams has researched ostracism and its effects, and you can search on Google or any search engine for details on his work. Some books he has authored are available from Amazon:
'The Social Outcast: Ostracism, Social Exclusion, Rejection, and Bullying' by Kipling D. Williams, Joseph P. Forgas, William Von Hippel
'Ostracism: The Power of Silence' by Kipling D. Williams
Also see: 'Don't Take It Personally: The Art of Dealing with Rejection' by Elayne Savage
Amazon often have second-hand books which are much cheaper!
You can read up about books and authors without having to buy anything |
Scapegoating and ostracism have similarities:
Someone or some people can get blamed or ignored
- as if they did something wrong, or there's something different about them
Actually it can happen to anyone, and for no particular reason
It can be quite hard to change the pattern. Get some support if you can, and read up on it for yourself
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http://everything2.com/title/sent+to+Coventry |
The Royalist forces of King Charles I (were pitted) against the Parliamentarian armies of Oliver Cromwell. Coventry; a Parliamentarian stronghold said to have been used to house hundreds of Royalist prisoners captured by Cromwell's forces. A Royalist in Coventry would, no doubt, have been very unpopular, so "to be sent to Coventry" came to be a popular saying meaning, "to be ostracized." It has also been suggested that Coventry was used as a place of execution during the same period, in which case "to be sent to Coventry" signaled a fate somewhat worse than having no one to talk to.
In 1642 Charles I was suspected of being a Catholic in secret. Consequently he and Parliament frequently clashed. In the end the king left London and established an army, as did Parliament. These events sowed the seeds for the English Civil War. However it wasn't until almost a century after the English Civil Wars that the idiom was used to describe a person who was to be excluded from a circle of friends. The first occurrence of it used in this manner in print was recorded in 1765, and is generally taken to refer to the Civil War.
A third likelihood is a popular explanation is that the name Coventry is a derivative of a Covin-tree from feudal times and thought to be an oak which stood in front of the castle for hanging criminals. Used as a gallows, those to be executed were "sent to the covin-tree."
Still popular among the British labor unions today the phrase is used to punish strikebreakers. A powerful tool for social pressure, the person sent to Coventry is given the silent treatment until they eventually give up and resign. |
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